My Phobia

I was doing my teeth whitening. The process is very simple - they put this peroxide on your teeth and then laser it. Each set is 10 minutes. However, what seems a simple process to me was an extremely stressful procedure for the entire 60 odd minutes.

Because I have claustrophobia. 

It all started years back during a spa treatment where I was wrapped up with lots of heat inside to detox my body. There was no one in the treatment room when I felt really restrained and hot and I needed to get out of it. At that moment, I felt scared. The fear in me was a real torture. I felt that I couldn't control and no one was around to save me.  

Ever since then, I couldn't have my eyes covered during facials, and any other wrap treatments anymore. 

I would even be so scared of taking planes. There was once I had the runs and felt so ill in air!

Just as my fear somehow subsided, another incident rekindled it.

That was when I was doing my lasik surgery 18 months ago. 

The experience of having my entire eye socket sucked and not being able to see a thing threw me in great fear that I needed the nurse to hold me down, holding my hand because I screamed that I wanted to terminate the surgery (well, the poor nurse's hand was pressed by me so tightly during the entire procedure. Good thing everything went through well and I'm glad I went through it!).

And then it was life back to normal, until I got stuck in the lift months back. It was scary, the feeling of helplessness being alone in the lift was terrible. I called my boyfriend and screamed my guts out asking him to save me. The lift merely stopped for 30 seconds and I felt like 30 hours!

So now, I take the stairs whenever my fear creeps in (good thing my new place is at ground level!).

And then yesterday, the same feeling returned. When the plastic gutter was inserted into my mouth leaving it opened to facilitate the procedure, fear crept in again. I was scared, I was contemplating running out and not doing it anymore. I told myself to endure, relax and focused on the music that was playing. The biggest fear came when I was told not to open my eyes for the entire 10 minutes when the laser was working. (The Therapist told me I was shivering during the session after the whole thing!)

In the end, the 3 sessions became 2 only because at the last session, the peroxide landed on part of my gums (guess it was because I lifted my head and it hit the laser gun which was hanging directly above my teeth) and the stinging left me only one choice - GIVE UP. 

And so after paying, my teeth is indeed whiter, but could have been even whiter if not for the freak incident. 

While I can now *glee* wider, I hope my fear can subside soon. It's really handicapping me.