Are you guilty?

I can't understand so many things in life lately.

Just a short span of 3 months - Sept till to-date, I've got several types of encounters with different people that I feel that the previous 30+ years were incomparable. 

I witnessed how low people can get for the sake of money.

I witnessed how selfish people can get on the pretext that they care for others, but actually what they really want is for themselves and their own faces.

Many of us fall into this trap. If we love someone, we assume whatever we plan for this person is the best. But have we ever thought is that really what the person want? And if this person rejects your 'goodwill', do you then turn around and blame this person but not reflect upon yourself?

Suppose in a relationship, A claims to love B very much. So each time, A will insist on everything for B. Then one day, B feels the stress of being forced (perhaps B realise what s/he wants) that s/he decides to retaliate. 

When that day comes, will A be so upset with B for being un-reciprocative or unfilial for opposing A, and at the same time, still has no insight on the dire consequences of the actions and still enforces the beliefs and actions on B? I would therefore interpret this as acts of selfishness and not love. A being imposing on B, causing B unnecessary stress for the fulfillment of A's own insecurities. 

We term such actions as 'controlling' or 'manipulative' in counselling records. The person wants total control to feel secured over somethings. But the more the person controls, the more backfired it becomes. And that explains why relationships fail at times when one party tries to overpower the other. There is no balance. Just like what the Chinese says - Yin and Yang. 

Overpowering in a relationship is extremely unhealthy. The other party either flight or fight - escaping from the powerful one (some young people run away or refuse to talk to the person or stay out very late till the person sleeps), or fight by arguing with the powerful person, trying to overthrow this person. 

And there's no end.

So friends, next time when you try to impose yourself on others, think twice. Is it a convenient excuse for you to say "it's for your own good" when in actual fact, the beneficiary is YOURSELF.