Ever since last week, especially.
Suddenly, I see many things. My eyes open up and I see myself very vulnerable. I realise only I can protect myself. No one will. Only myself. And if I don't, I'm just going to be more vulnerable to external factors and allowing others to hurt me more.
Is it because of the recent free-falling of the markets that made me feel so helpless and vulnerable? Or was it because of what happened recently? I believe it's both.
I look at my close friends - and realise while I treat them as good friends, maybe they don't after all. If we aren't colleagues, will we still have common topics to talk about and continue to care for each other? I look at those close friends I have who were once colleagues. Somehow, they have become so distant. I don't seem to know them anymore.
I know everyone's crazy over the markets and workload has been exceptionally heavy. But is it too much to ask for to at least send a text to ask how your friend is doing especially when she'd sent you upsetting texts just days back?
Maybe I'm just not lucky enough to have met friends who are really willing to give their time for me, to treasure me. Maybe.
2 comments:
haha, i tink both of us are typical cancerians. somehow i feel the same way as u now - about frens. i really tink its our work. but i must confessed im the guilty one sometimes, thats y i felt so bad sometime back.
I think in every friendship, being there is very important. It doesn't mean that friends have to meet everyday or something, but the readiness to be there to provide whatever support to a friend, to me, is top priority. Everyone is busy. Who doesn't, especially in a time like this? It's prioritising that makes everything different, isn't it?
I do not ask for expensive gifts or 100% from friends. A mere catching up via sms is good enough to show you care for a friend.
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