What is Plan B?

My boss talked about Plan B today.

It's not that we're planning to leave the company, or the industry, it's just Plan B, that allows us to continue being productive if we so decide to leave some day. After all, who in the world today would aspire to grow old with a company, let alone a department?

So that brought me back to the dreams i used to have in the past.

And then I realised somehow I've lost a lot of drive in my 4 years here with the department.

I used to be someone full of drive, aggression, and aspirations. Not that I am no longer aggressive, but I've mellowed down tremendously. I still have my temper and tantrums, but the drive in me seemed to have extinguished. Could it be the company, I asked. Maybe. I recall those days when I spoke up so ever often and got gunned down and penalised.

Now as they realised that speaking up is good and are encouraging us to do so, it simply is just not so easy anymore. The fire has been extinguished.

I still do my part as a staff, a senior, a colleague, a friend, a manager. But deep down inside me, I long to have the drive I've lost.

I know I can do so much better than what I am doing now, in every way.

And I'm still trying to figure out what is happening.

It's not the number of breaks I need or have been having. It's just something that is missing, that I need to find it back to uncover my drive again.

It's this drive that will allow me to explore more about myself, and the many Plan Bs I'd like to have in the future.