Me Me Me Me.

I've been reading a friend's blog faithfully, and have all the kudos I can for her openness about her life. It's a strength I suppose not many have, especially me.

I cannot imagine writing about my work, bitching about my boss and 'friends' in the open. As much I'd like to, I simply can't, because I fear for the day the blog entry ends up with those I rant about, and then everything becomes ugly. As for now, all relationships are cordial and 'nice', and it's just not worth spoiling it. However deep in me, I'd like to have the freedom to rant whatever I want for the world to read. It is afterall, my own personal blog.

So let me try to be a little open ...

I'm a perfectionist. Since young, I've always wanted everything to be the way I'd like it to be, totally flawless. In a way, I'm like my mom, always wanting things to be in control, perfect, and seamless. But over the years, I've learned things don't happen the way I want it to be most of the time. Many things aren't within my control, and each time when things don't fall in place, I fret, and throw tantrums and get upset.

It came to a point when my working relationship with my assistant started to fail, and I realised I just needed to take a step back to take things easy at times. I'm glad things have improved and now she knows what I'm thinking without having me to go into details.

I'm very serious when it comes to work, and accepts no, or little mistake. I believe work is to be taken seriously and not play play, because it takes up alot of our living time in life.

Just recently, I had a long chat with one of my bosses. Even till today, I'm still very impressed with how she managed to pinpoint everything about me, although we do not communicate much. She said I'm a perfectionist and is always hard on myself. How true! Each time when I make a mistake, I get very upset with myself and start asking myself why did I do that. I guess this is something many cannot see inside my thoughts, when I start to blah at others.

Some say it's very difficult to work with me, but I beg to differ. Not that I want to give myself excuses, but I believe if my co-workers can see that I'm not being personal when I raise issues, and it's all for the sake of work and customers, I believe they will not think that I'm difficult to work with after all. Perhaps it's how I present to others? But I believe having the same objective when working is important to sustaint & improve a working relationship.

Maybe I should make my stand clear each time I meet a new worker? I don't know.